9 November 2011. I was one of the many graduates received a degree cum laude Finally, I officially became a scholar. Next, I wanted to work and continue graduate school. However, I still have a moral responsibility to help friends in the student organization until December 2011.
January 2012. I also applied for various companies. Starting from the media, banking, insurance, and other private sector companies. Various application I have entered. I was then called to follow the test as psycho test, interviews, and so on. Not a few companies that I refuse to work at their companies. I sometimes feel hopeless. However, more painful, there are some companies that almost accepted me, but when I failed in the final selection.
I failed, and I feel desperate. I can’t forgive my self. Sometimes I ask into my heart, why my friends are so easy to get a job. And I? While in college, I actively participated in student organizations. I also have work experience and have a good GPA. So why would I not go get a job?
4 months of painful conditions such befall me. A lot of people are asking, you’ve worked? For me the question was very painful. I find it hard to distinguish whether it is a question of attention or concern? I do not know I was getting upset. Moreover, my parents almost every day asking if I was accepted to work or not? Happiness for my parents is very important. I do not want them to be disappointed and sad to know that I have not worked. Even sadder, I still get a money from my parents. At that time I feel to be useless.
Honestly, this condition is most severe in my life. I’ve prayed to God. I also have tried as much as possible. But the result? I have yet to find a job according to my passion. I was very disappointed with myself.
Praise of complicated conditions that befell me, I grew closer to God. I believe that every person in this world has their sustenance. I should not be jealous of others. I just need to be patient much longer, keep praying, and keep trying. Maybe God wants to know how much patience I have. I know exactly, that ordeal when it happened to me was a test for me can be better.
“I do not know if this disaster or challenges. But I always prejudiced either to God. ”
Finally, I surrender all to the Lord’s test. I believe God will not waste the people close to him. A few days later, many offers of work from various companies. But of the many companies, I chose to work in NGOs. For people that may sound screwy. However, I have an answer for all of my life choices. I just want to say that working in NGOs that have Islamic values are God’s way of always keeping me in kindness.